(My family celebrating the life of my precious grandmother. )

I have spent the last few days smiling- a lot. Yes life seems at times to hurt more than you expect. You get dealt punches you didn't see coming and you try and recover as best as you can. But losing my grandmother last week brought about so much change that you can't be sad...for long.

Years ago I was seeing a counselor and I have yet to forget two questions that she asked me. She made me draw a family tree and then asked me to look at it. Her first question was- Who are you most like on this tree? My answer- no one. There wasn't a single person on that tree that I resembled in any way-both in life and physically. She then asked me where my faith came from. Where did it flow down from? Honestly- not really anywhere. My parents are Christians and I would say my faith came from them. But there wasn't a clear flow through the family of faith. I remember walking out and thinking- "I feel really alone." Not in a completely bad way but that I, Mindi, was very different from my family. And for years I have always felt that way- until losing Mimi.

For the first time in 32 years I got a glimpse of who I am. Why I am so in to fashion and style. Why I love the color pink. Why the very word grace brings tears to my eyes. Why I giggle. Why I love to be loud at times. Why I love wine. And why I want to be remembered as a woman of strength and grace. I am more my mimi than I ever realized and it is so very sweet to know that. Her memorial service made me so very proud of who she was and so very sad that I didn't know her more deeply. You learn things you wished you had known- but it makes you realize how precious life is and how you can't let it pass you by.

God worked like a crazy man last weekend. My poor shattered and fractered family was together for the first time in 7 months. We talked, cried, shared, battled, etc. with each other. There was definitely healing between siblings. My sister and I mended that broken bridge and I look forward to all the healing that is taking place.

So another 'hit' wasn't such an awful hit after all. No wonder I love pink so much. :) I love you Mimi.