Dear restless heart, be still; don't fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God's own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.

Dear restless heart, be brave; don't moan and sorrow so,
He has a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.

Dear restless heart, recline upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.

Dear restless heart, be still! Don't struggle to be free;
God's life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.

I had one of those weeks that left me ragged. For the last 6 months I have had the hardest time sleeping. My little head can't seem to calm down. The "planner" in me works through everything and trys to find ways to fix stuff. Not only my family but even the little things- like a project at work. I think and think and think until I come up with all the "plans" and the next thing you know- it's 2 am and I can't fall asleep. Then I get all frustrated and cause myself more worry. It's a silly cycle- one that needs to stop. The little quote I put in today was from Streams in the Desert- it's a devotional that isn't too Christian-ese for me. It's something that has spoken to my heart since January and eerily mirrored daily the spiritual battle that has been raging around me. God works in crazy ways huh!

I was told today that I am the glue of my family and that they need me. Honestly my first gut instinct was to yell at this person and say - NO WAY! That isn't fair and that is too much pressure on me. But before losing it she reminded me of who I was in God and I settled down before I could yell. hahahah The last 6 months have brought out a woman in me that I never knew was there. I'm brutally honest (with love of course) and I don't shrink back anymore. I've come to LOVE who I am and with that comes allowing others to really know me. I have had this fear my entire life that if someone were to know the "real" me that they would not like me. That fear has gone further in to thinking that I would never get "chosen" - chosen to be a partner, and wife, and mother, and friend, and everything else. Where I got this notion- I don't know!? Maybe because I never thought I lived up to certain expectations that my family set- (unsaid of course.) Or maybe I placed it upon myself. I'm still uncovering it all- and I'm learning.

This season in my life stinks- awful! I can burst in to tears at any moment but then I also have moments where laughter bubbles up from inside me. I can smile one of the biggest smiles through all of these tears. That's when I know- God has me.