Keeping up...

It is a good thing (probably) that I don't post things daily. Mainly because my emotions and well...words right now are very difficult to keep reigned in. There just isn't a way to talk through what is really going on in my heart- at least I don't think there is. Just when I think I know what I need to express and work out- it changes.

In the last week things have gotten really nasty between my dad (hence forth he will be referred to as Bob- not my father) and my mom. Even though they are still married he has gone off with the woman he began having an affair with and my mom found out about it. He spent the weekend in Telluride with Dianne. I am sure spending hoards of money that he still thinks he has. He STOLE MILLIONS from people. Friends, family members, investors, etc and my family is left reeling in the wings while he is out starting a new life. He had the audacity to email my mother and ask her if he and his new woman could talk to my mom on the phone and help my mom find some peace in her life. Really? Gosh you are so f'ing kind Bob.

The hardest part for me in all of this is keeping my heart from getting too angry. Too angry at the man that has single handily destroyed an ENTIRE family. He taught me what it was to love God with my heart, soul, and mind. He taught me Bible verses and he would stand up in front of thousands of high school aged kids and preach the Gospel. And now this? How am I supposed to still sit here? I want to walk away from everything. But I look at the alternative and I don't want that either.

I used to have a father that would look at me often and say "you are my favorite oldest daughter."

I guess when you sell your soul to the devil you fade away...

May God have mercy on your soul Bob.