Long Drive

My little mind won't stop thinking. Maybe I need to give up on the idea that someday I won't be such a thinker. That someday things will just happen and I will let them go. That I won't beat them to death. I have an uncanny ability to spin myself in so many directions that I have no idea which way is up. Oh Mindi...

There are times though that I love being a thinker. I love that Lent began yesterday and I spent some time thinking about what it meant to me. I decided to try out a lenten bible study at church and one thing it had us ponder on yesterday was God's mercies. The word 'hope' kept coming to mind. This well spring of hope that I didn't know I had. I am not bouncing off walls with hope but I look back and see that a year and a half ago I didn't see much. I let fears control who I was. But now- now I have literally flung myself over to hope. In what...not fully sure of that...but at least now I can see it.

In my thinking mode I went for a long drive last night. I did have a destination in mind and it was a place that I can't seem to stay away from. Maybe because it brings back a memory that is so precious to me. To everyone else it may seem like the silliest thing but to me it has stayed etched in my mind for 2 years now. I was told I was loved...

I'm going to hope for that moment again...